The world around you isn’t holding you back; you are holding yourself back.

This might be a tough thought to swallow. I know it is hard for me to really take this information internally and digest it. It is super hard to think the problems you have in your life ultimately have to do you with how you respond and react to the world around you. The problem isn’t the world. 

This is actually simple but seems very complex to truly understand. It is super easy to get annoyed, complain, and just get super frustrated by the people around you. It is really easy to go to your default of criticizing and complaining about what you don’t like about the people in your life. Maybe your boss is getting on your nerves. Maybe your coworkers don’t seem to listen to you. There are a whole host of things going on that might be bothering you. You might not understand why your spouse doesn’t seem to listen or why your kids are driving you crazy.

The key isn’t all of the things around you. The key to your frustrations is actually YOU.

I know that this whole concept is a lot to swallow. It isn’t easy to think that what happens in your life ultimately has a lot to do with how you decide to handle what happens around you. I know for myself it is way easier to play the blame game. It is way easier to say that I am the way I am because of the circumstances around me.

Oh sure, I have used the fact that I have moved so many times for why I am the way I am. Yes, it was hard to move around as many times as my family and I did but it will never be an excuse for my life being a certain way. My life is the way it is mostly because of how I have consciously and unconsciously made decisions to live it.

I think this concept can make people feel badly about themselves. Initially you might say, wow, my life is not where it should be because of the actions or lack of actions I have taken. My life is where it is because of bad decision making or because I did not feel motivated to figure out what direction I should be taking with my life. Or you might say if only I had more time or more money or more intelligence etc. I could move forward with my life.

Let me tell you a little secret. It is okay to be mad at yourself. It is okay to not be happy where you currently are in life.  Let this be an internal fire that helps guide you into action. What isn’t okay is to continue to blame the people around you or the circumstances you are in as an excuse for why you will continue to be the same exact way. If you don’t change yourself and how you respond to the world, the world will stay the same. The world isn’t going to magically change. 

Again, I don’t think what I am writing about is really anything revolutionary. I just think it is hard to digest. It is hard for myself to internalize. There isn’t a magic pill. It’s all about whether you are willing to do the hard work and put in the time and effort.

If people aren’t listening to you or your kids are driving you crazy etc. the question shouldn’t be what is wrong with them but rather what can I do and/or say differently to elicit a different outcome? Wow, this is hard work. This doesn’t happen overnight. Work like this takes patience but also an understanding that small victories should be applauded. Don’t expect for life to change over night unless you can change yourself completely in a day.

Remember, life around you doesn’t change; you are the one that changes your perspective on the world. Maybe you have made mistakes, but we all have done this. Everything that has happened in your life has set you up for the next thing. Use the past as a way to light your future. The good and the bad will help you be the best you that you can be. Now go out into the world and sparkle and shine regardless of what other people are doing or saying. Be the example and role model for the world around you. Now that is inspiration for others to change.